Staying Connected With Kids as They Get Older
Ideas for Attachment Parenting as Children Age
Jul 17, 2009
Attachment parenting with babies can seem more straightforward with breastfeeding, co-sleeping and wearing baby on a sling. When kids get older it can seem more difficult because they are off and running, busy doing their own thing. As well, many parents have to work these days to make ends meet, and it’s common for many children to be spending their days in daycare and/or school.
The important thing is for parents to make the time they have with their children count. It doesn’t mean spending every waking moment with them, but rather, making sure to show love for them, thoughtfully connecting and making the time together meaningful.
Write Notes to Express Love and Connection
Communicate love through letters and notes. If a parent has to leave the house before their kids wake up or she won’t be home until they have gone to bed, she can leave notes for them to read. It can be a long letter talking about how a parent liked the new artwork on the fridge or is looking forward to watching her child play basketball on the weekend. Reminisce about memories of when kids were younger and how proud a parent is of where they have come so far.
If a parent doesn’t have time to write much, a simple “I love you” or “Have a Great Day! Love Mom/Dad” can be written on a note. Parents can get creative, why not a yellow sticky note in the bathroom on the mirror saying, “I love your smile!” Add a little happy face. Even if a child can’t read it, an older sibling, the other parent or nanny can read it for the child.
Another idea is to write little notes and put them into their lunch boxes. For younger kids it can be a simple smiling face. Readers can also learn more about fun and easy lunch ideas to connect with kids.
Stay in Touch When Spending Time With Kids
Keep up physical contact wherever and whenever a parent can. Give cuddles, kisses and rubs on the back. Hug, kiss and say, “I love you” as part of the ritual of saying good-bye and hello. If children decide as they get older that they don’t want a hug or kiss or only in certain settings, respect their space. Whisper, “I love you” if that makes them feel more comfortable.
In fact, whispering, “I love you” can be a fun game a parent can start with kids when they are young. Call over to a child and say, “I have something very important to tell you. You need to come over here right now.” Then whisper something loving in their ear like, “I love you very much!” or “Did I tell you how wonderful you? Well, let me tell you now. You are wonderful!” Then give them a hug or a kiss.
Snuggle Up for a Good Book
The nice thing about reading books is that parent and child have to sit close to read it together and the other positive of course is the intellectual benefit of reading. Watching movies together can also be a time of physical bonding. Make it a family event with popcorn, blankets and snuggling on the couch together.
Make Time for Play Time
A parent can dedicate a set time where she puts everything aside and focuses completely on the child. That means leaving the chores, turning off the cell phone and giving all of a parent’s attention to her child. Let the child lead the activity. Ask the child what he wants to do with this time and let him be in charge for this time (within reason of course!). It doesn’t have to be a long time, 20 minutes, if that’s all a parent has, can mean a lot to a child. Try to fit in quality play time together every day if possible.
Keeping a strong bond with kids as they grow older is important for parents. They can do so by communicating through writing, keeping up positive physical contact, reading together and setting aside quality time together.
Readers interested in attachment parenting can check out AskDrSears.com and Attachment Parenting Canada. Parents can also learn about attachment parenting and preparing kids for a new baby.
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