Psychological Benefits of Cosleeping
How Bedsharing Emotionally Impacts Mothers and Babies
Oct 2, 2008
Whether for convenience, commitment to attachment parenting philosophies or to enjoy the numerous physiological benefits of bedsharing, many mothers are choosing to sleep with their babies. Sadly this practice is often frowned upon by friends and family, who believe that cosleeping is likely to create needy, dependent children.
Historical Origins of Psychological Objections to Cosleeping
Throughout most of history, cosleeping has been the norm; indeed, entire families would frequently share a single bed. Much of the world still routinely cosleeps with infants and small children, with no apparent culture-wide psychological disturbances to show for it. Why then does Western society frown on the practice?
Anthropologists link the objections to an increasing sense of individualism in Western society. Whereas the parent-child relationship was once seen as foundational to a family, the spouse-spouse relationship is now prioritised. Along with the fairly modern concept of privacy, and American-stressed values of independence and self-reliance, the model of sleep began to shift to allow parents their own sleeping space. Children were encouraged to "self-soothe" and follow adult (monophasic) sleep patterns, despite infants being wired for polyphasic sleep.(1)
Parenting experts such as Dr. Spock and Gary Ezzo have furthered these ideals, claiming that cosleeping children will become manipulative, clingy and needy. Dr. Spock famously went so far as to decree that children could climb into bed with their parents in the morning, as long as this did not arouse sexual feelings in the parents! Patricia Donahue-Carey points out that equating sleep with sex is another modern, Western notion, which has since tainted cosleeping with an aura of impropriety.(2)
Cultural Attitudes to Cosleeping
Anthropological research has indicated that cosleeping is not, as previously thought, practiced worldwide through ignorance or necessity. Rather than sharing beds because of a lack of space or resources, cosleeping mothers have overwhelmingly demonstrated a commitment to cosleeping which is tied in with larger parenting philosophies. In one study, Mayan mothers were "shocked and highly disapproving" of infant solitary sleep; another study showed that Chinese mothers coslept out of a desire to protect their babies and make them happy.(3)
Results of Research on Psychological Effects of Cosleeping
A number of large- and small-scale studies have examined the effects of cosleeping on children. Some have reported no discernible differences between solitary-sleeping and cosleeping peers; others link cosleeping to better behavior, greater levels of happiness, fewer tantrums, less fear and fewer psychiatric problems. In adulthood, children who once coslept have been found to have higher levels of "confidence, self-esteem and intimacy". No evidence was found that cosleeping children became clingy or dependent as a result.(4)
Mothers, too, may benefit psychologically from cosleeping. Many working mothers welcome the chance to reconnect with their babies after a day apart. Easy breastfeeding access means more sleep for both parties, resulting in a less stressed, less sleep-deprived mother. Moreover, many mothers who cosleep report that they enjoy the experience for the intimacy and security it provides.
As cosleeping mother Joylyn Fowler writes, “I’m reminded of what I often lose sight of during the frenetic day – I made this child, I grew her inside of me, my milk has made her grow. It is such an empowering feeling. I can’t tell you how many hours I have just lain there looking at one of my daughters.”(5)
1. McKenna, James. Sleeping with Your Baby: A Parent's Guide to Cosleeping. Washington: Platypus Media. 2007.
2. Donohue-Carey, Patricia. “Solitary or Shared Sleep: What's Safe?”. Mothering 114 (2002).
3. McKenna, James. “Breastfeeding & Bedsharing Still Useful (and Important) after All These Years”. Mothering 114 (2002).
4. Jackson, Deborah. Three in a Bed – The Benefits of Sharing Your Bed with Your Baby. New York: Bloomsbury, 1999.
5. Fowler, Joylyn, "A Foot In Your Face, or Ten Other Reasons to Family Bed"; Mothering 98 (2000).
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