Bonding With a Newborn

Attachment Parenting and a New Baby's Development

Oct 1, 2009 Tamiko Nicholson

Helping a baby develop by creating a strong bond with parents is a key component of attachment theory. Read on to find out how parents can help make this happen.

Attachment theory encourages parents to become attuned to their baby to better help meet his or her needs, as this will help a baby’s brain develop. Here are some tips for building a strong connection between parent and a baby new to this world.

Physical Contact is Important for Connecting With Baby

Hold and carry a newborn as much as possible. Babies feel comforted by the smell of their parents and the warmth and comfort of being close to a warm body. Skin-to-skin contact is encouraged and breastfeeding can be a good opportunity for this. Dads can also have skin-to-skin time with their babies too.

Eye Contact Helps Build a Connection With Newborn

Looking into someone’s eyes is an important part of communicating, and understanding how they are reacting or feeling about what is being said. Parents can make eye contact with their baby and respond to the different expressions he or she is making. The baby will be interested in faces and will even try to imitate the facial expressions he or she sees.

Learn to Listen to Baby’s Different Sounds

It can be daunting when a new baby comes into a family’s life and parents try to figure out what his or her different cries and sounds mean. Does the baby need milk? A diaper change? A nap? Learning to do this will definitely take time, but listening to how a baby cries and how he or she responds when parents come near can help in figuring this out. Remember also that each child is different, so parents will have to learn the unique needs and characteristics of their baby.

Baby Loves to Hear the Voices of Loved Ones

It’s never too early to have a conversation with a baby. Parents should talk with their newborn whenever they are interacting with him or her. Take any sound or expression a baby makes and note it in the conversation. If a parent is changing the baby and he or she is crying, the parent can acknowledge to the child that it is cold to have all their clothes taken off to get a new diaper put on. Even if a parent just makes up conversation, that’s fine. Babies enjoy listening to the varied intonation and inflections in a person’s speech.

Respond With Sensitivity to Newborn

Although sleep deprivation can make this difficult at times, parents should strive to respond with sensitivity to their baby. It’s important for parents to realize that crying is the way a baby communicates to get his or her needs met, and to find a place of calmness when responding. A caring voice and gentle touch are great tools for reassuring and calming an upset baby, although it can take time for some babies to calm. Be soothing in words and actions when feeding, changing or helping a baby pass gas. This can help the baby see that a parent empathizes with how the baby is feeling when he or she is hungry, has a wet diaper or is feeling pain.

Playtime with the New Baby

Newborns will soon become interested in the world around them and it’s an amazing opportunity for parents to help them learn about it. Carry baby around so he or she can see what’s in his or her environment. This can be done in the home, and take the baby out for a walk or a stroll. Play and giggle with baby. Make faces and tell jokes even if the baby doesn’t understand them; the sound of a parent’s laughter will be entertaining. Also hum and sing songs to baby for shared moments.

Give the baby tummy rubs, as this will feel relaxing and also help the baby with passing gas. The responses of a newborn may be hard to pick up and most of the actions will seem to come from the parent, but the baby is taking in the activity and learning from it.

Keys to forming a secure bond with parent and child include holding baby, making eye contact, listening to baby’s cries, talking to baby, responding sensitively to a baby’s cries and making time for having fun with baby.

Also check out Activities for Two-Month-Olds , Activities for Four-Month-Olds and What Can a Four-Month-Old Baby Do?

Reference:

Newton, Ruth. The Attachment Connection: Parenting a Secure and Confident Child Using the Science of Attachment Theory. New Harbinger Publications Oakland, California, 2008.

The copyright of the article Bonding With a Newborn in Parenting Methods is owned by Tamiko Nicholson. Permission to republish Bonding With a Newborn in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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