Attachment Parenting & Preparing Kids for Baby
Helping Children Feel Connected to Baby & Involved During Pregnancy
Jul 28, 2009
Having a new brother or sister can be a big change for children. The attachment parenting approach encourages moms and dads to get the kids involved as much as possible in the pregnancy by talking about and preparing for baby together as a family. Here are some tips for making this life-changing event a fun family affair.
Read and Share Information About the Growing Baby
Parents often read pregnancy books to find out how the baby is developing over the weeks and months, and they can share this information with their kids. Younger kids will need less detail of course, with parents saying things like “This month the baby is about the size of a grapefruit.” Parents can give more information to older kids and should be prepared for more questions too.
There are many books geared for different ages that talk about pregnancy and a new sister or brother on the way. These can be helpful to read to children by providing information at their level and having pictures and drawings showing a baby’s development.
Let Kids Have a Hands-On Experience With Pregnancy
A mother can let children touch her belly and give “hugs” to their new sibling-to-be. She can also encourage her kids to put an ear to her belly to see if they can hear any noises or feel any movement. When the baby is older and moving around, she can get them to watch and feel what’s poking out and guess what part of the baby is moving. Parents can also talk and sing to the baby and invite their children to do the same. Tell kids that babies are able to hear the outside world and will like to hear the sound of their voices.
Describe Newborn Characteristics to Kids
Explain that when the new baby comes, she or he won’t be able to do very much. Tell kids that the baby will need help with everything and not be able to play for a while. Talk about how they can be involved with things like helping with diaper changes, bath time and picking out clothes for the baby. Discuss how the baby will cry to express herself and that sometimes babies can cry a lot. Parents can tell kids that singing lullabies, talking gently to the baby, smiling and cuddling can help the baby feel better, but it might take some time.
Kids Can Help Prepare for the Baby
Make sure to involve children with getting things ready in the home for the new baby. They can help their parents with decorating and organizing the baby’s room. They can go shopping with their parents to get the things that babies need. Let the children help pick out simple things like a baby outfit or baby toy. The family can even have a Birth Day party where the kids can help prepare for a party to welcome the baby home.
Talk About Times When Kids Were Babies
Children love to hear stories about themselves. Whenever parents are talking about what babies are like and need, they can also share examples of how their kids were when they were babies. Parents can talk about how special it was to have their children come into their lives, and how even though they will be busy with meeting the needs of the new baby, they will always be loving and thinking about all of their children. It's also important for parents to stay connected to older kids. Parents can talk about how big brothers and sisters are an important part of a family, and how together they can create even more interesting and exciting new family memories with the new baby.
Parents can teach kids about how babies develop during a pregnancy and use books as a resource. Let kids "interact" with the baby in the mother's belly and talk about what babies are like. Parents can also share stories about how the kids were when they were babies and get them involved in preparing the home and even a party for the baby.
Resources: Sears, William; Sears, Martha; Watts Kelly, Christie. Baby on the Way. Boston: Little Brown and Company, 2001.
For more information on Attachment Parenting, readers can visit AskDrSears.com.
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